Saturday, May 24, 2008

dang, so lets reflect

lets get a little serious. 

so I got my end of semester review from my professor.

nothing I didn't already know was mentioned, but with that said it is obvious that need to think about things out loud, or at least as far as this blogger goes, which can be pretty far sometimes.

here's the deal, I am attending Kansas City Art Institute's School of Design to major in Animation. when I first applied here, I checked off Illustration first, then Animation second. With the removal of the Illustration program and the fact that I really wanted to be an animator. Now, I chose animation because I feel like illustration is something I can always maintain on the side, but when the tough gets going and push comes to shove, my haven from animation turns to the pleasure of focussing on one single image, creating stroke after stroke. when I am in my liberal arts classes, I doodle, I don't bust out some sheets of  papers and animate. Maybe it's just the flexibility of illustration that catches me; It doesn't demands of me more then I demand of it. Maybe it's because I'm new to animation. 

The other side is that I don't think in single images. Sometimes I wish on creating a film that shows visuals exactly how I think about them. When I think of a character I let if struggle in my mind for it's own meaning, imagining how it is gonna fumble around and move. I think that's where my drive to animate comes in. I want to create, and sometimes that part of me doesn't get satisfied till I see something move, something I experienced for the first time this school year. I didn't even want to say it at first but it felt like I was God giving life. That was a feeling that I know was worth all the frames.

So what is my problem? I don't know, I can't decide. Granted, there's a possibility in character design and development, but is that really it? I don't know, but sometimes it sounds right sometimes it doesn't. Maybe next year, when I feel like animations isn't such a foreign thing. or maybe I should just animate, and see how that goes. That's what logic tells me, but through my "Hiatus" I've been doodling and working on a drawing in photoshop. 

who knows. lets see this one out. for my own sake, I need to focus, and learn to channel what I want faster. because I know it's there, I feel like it is, I see that it is, but the connection from mind to paper is never really as ready as I want it to be.

way to break the place in huh? this is just me, feel free to ignore. I just need to get this out of my system.


sushi_the_pug said...

You are super talented. Maybe it will just take a little bit of time before you spread your wings in animation to the point where you want. I know you can do it! I love your work!!!!

jon.lane said...

It will be difficult for a person as talented as yourself to narrow your focus and decide on that one thing you should be doing.

Personally, I became hesitant of my potential future as an animator because I believed that the way I wanted to create, with drawings rather than with graphics, was not something marketable today.

I became cynical because I believed that the need for marketability denied art of independent spirit. I thought that success could be found in shallow and superficial places. I imagined this kind of success would demand just as much work and soul, but could not offer the gratification of having communicated anything real to someone. To me, the outcome appeared inevitably commercial.

Of course, I imagined all of this. I can neither prove nor disprove the idea.

You're in an animation program, Osciel. Animation is a beautiful thing if it's done well. You are fortunate enough to have the talent to do it well. If you're not willing to dedicate yourself to the end, I would recommend you depart from that program and find a more suitable venture. If you choose to stay, find your drive and make your decisions seriously. I'm sure you can succeed with either direction, but now is the time.

jon.lane said...

Oops. I got a little caught up in your conundrum.

What I was going to say was,

We should certainly collaborate on something this summer. The window of opportunity is closing for finishing 'Zwei', so it appears I will have plenty of time to dedicate for a new endeavor. A comic book sounds good to me. Or an animation.